


The End

by areyoufr



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Hades!Seungcheol, Light-Hearted, M/M, Persephone!Joshua, References to Greek Myth, kind of religious conflict but not really, motherly issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoufr/pseuds/areyoufr
Summary: Seungcheol writes about the story of Joshua and him. Or, more accurately, what could have been the story of Joshua and him.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua
Kudos: 12





	The End

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by GOT7's song, The End! It reminded me of Hades and Persephone at the same time, too. But in this story, I based the HxP version wherein Persephone isn't kidnapped and Demeter is different in character (and Hades is pure and loving)
> 
> Note: this is a repost because the last ver was ugly as heck.
> 
> Note: this isn't a greek myth AU! I'm also sorry if I don't get accurate with greek myth, or worship groups, I haven't had a firsthand experience and I'm basing it on what I can observe.
> 
> Note: not all Catholics are super conservative though, just a heads up!

Seungcheol doesn't know the reason why he began writing.

It's a hobby that introduced itself to him uninvited, pushing his unhealthy hobbies of taking personality quizzes and looking at starter pack memes on Instagram. The last time he read something voluntarily was three years ago, around December, when Hansol asked him to proofread a feature article for their school paper. Seungcheol remembers it was about a parallel story of the Greek mythology, and out of vanity, he switched tabs on his phone to take a personality test: _Which Greek God/dess Am I?_

He remembers answering honestly, and he remembers having the expecation that he will at least have Artemis or Hephaestus — but when the result of the personality quiz came out, he was flabbergasted upon getting Hades.

What did he know about Hades? That he was a guy in a Disney movie. A bad guy. And when he looked it up on Google, he read the words _abducted_ and _forced —_

_Yikes,_ he had that reaction. _Did he really do that?_

"I didn't know why I got that," Seungcheol had told Hansol one day when he was picking the latter up from his campus, with his intent of switching dorms; for a lower rent pay, Hansol had agreed to live with Seungcheol, who had no roommate. "Isn't he the bad guy?"

"He is, I guess. That's the most well-known version, but I believe in the version wherein he didn't capture Persephone. Persephone was abused by Demeter, her mom, and so she was calling for death, and Hades heard her or something, and," Hansol shrugged, "the rest is history. But in the course of their relationship Hades is extremely loyal, unlike the other two."

Seungcheol remembers side-stepping to fit in a slightly crowded pathway as they walked. "So is Hades good?"

"Why do you want your assigned personality Greek god to be 'good'?"

"I don't know, maybe it's fitting." _Or maybe he couldn't just accept the fact of being a bad person._ He had to remind himself it was only a personality quiz; _grow up, Seungcheol._ They finally left the campus premises, with Seungcheol hoisting one of Hansol's heavy bags up. The heat of the sun accompanied them as they walk towards the bus stop.

Seungcheol couldn't afford to sweat right now, since he had somewhere to be later on. Out of light exhaustion, he placed Hansol's bags down, resting them on his feet, once they reached the bus stop itself. "What's with this Persephone?"

He remembers how Hansol's smile had brightened. "I'm glad you asked, hyung. She's cool. Her name was Kore, meaning something like maiden, but it's changed to — light destroyer or something like that. That's what Persephone means." No buses arrived, sadly. "I guess she's more powerful than Hades."

Seungcheol smiled. "That sounds wonderful."

"There are other versions, too!" Hansol grinned. "Some say Persephone just waltzed in the Underworld out of curiosity. Or maybe she went there to help someone. Or she maybe she was trying to run away. Or she had a bad thing with her mother and she only wants DEATH. Like CALLING _for_ death. There are a lot. I don't even know how she really is anymore. She seems like a complex character, one that is built over time by everyone's interpretations."

There were still no buses. Cars and motorcycles zoom past; and obviously, none of them are buses. Seungcheol adjusted his hold on Hansol's bags as he let them rest on the top of his shoes. 

"Maybe her original character was vague enough. But anyway, you sound so poetic."

"I don't know much about Greek mythology, though, but I'm just saying," Hansol claimed, and Seungcheol only hummed appreciatively before they fell into a relaxed silence. There were still no buses. The silence they shared in seconds stretched in to minutes and minutes and minutes, and when Seungcheol checked his wristwatch, it had been nearly half an hour since then.

"Buses aren't normally like this, I swear."

"So I guess the mass doesn't happen normally either?" Hansol had tilted his head towards a mini-crowd forming outside a chapel. Half of them wore yellow shirts, and the rest were mixed. Most of the buses had located by the bus stop nearer to the church to offer seats from the massgoers.

A mass? In the afternoon? It's not unlikely, but it's questionable why there are a lot of people.

"I think it's because it's December or something, or maybe it's a worship group," Seungcheol had muttered, mostly to himself. "It's not exactly Christmas yet, though."

"Maybe it's a coincidence there are a lot of people right now."

Some people from the church had tried to separate themselves from the crowd, too, and they were headed to _their_ bus stop. Hansol moved closer to Seungcheol to give them space. _It's going to get even_ more _hot_ , the latter complains in his mind.

Then he feels a small kick on the back of his leg.

"-so sorry," someone apologized quietly behind him.

" _Where_ are your manners, Joshua?" a rather high-pitched voice scolded from behind him.

"Sorry, sir," the same person apologized, their voice much louder this time.

Seungcheol remembers that he had decided to look back, and he sees a person as tall as him, with a very noticeable ear piercing on both of their lobe and helix, contrasting their yellow shirt, with the label of _choir_ in small font.

So, they must be a choir member. But they're a familiar face. Seungcheol had remembered — and still remembers — seeing them around before.

"It's okay." Seungcheol remembers the smaller lady's grip on _that_ ear pierced choir member person's arm, he remembers how _that_ choir member never reacted the slightest to it, even if it seemed like his veins or something like that would pop out. "Um, nice piercing, by the way."

They looked amused. "Thanks."

They're the type to fit in two contradicting starter packs, Seungcheol thought.

"Hyung," Hansol had called him back. "I think there's a bus finally coming."

They luckily had the opportunity to get inside the bus first. Seungcheol grunted as he placed Hansol's bags down, again. Hansol laughed from beside him.

"I bet it's going to be fun staying with you, hyung, you're so transparent."

"Can't believe you think like that."

"It's true, I can practically see your exhaustion. All my previous dorm-mates in there were always off with their friends; they're hard to read and I can't understand them. Anyway," Hansol tried to erase the atmosphere he had created, but the other was already concerned, "do you have a bookshelf?"

"No. Why?"

"It's for my books. I bought this new, mythology one. It's extremely informative and I want to keep it in good shape."

Seungcheol had smiled fondly. "I'll modify the shoerack for you instead. That'll be your new bookshelf."

"Thanks, hyung!"

From the corner of his eye, Joshua squeezes themself in behind the lady — his mother, probably — as they both look for two empty seats.

All of it was nothing to Seungcheol back then.

_That_. All of that he remembers, despite of the fact it had happened three years ago on a December afternoon. But the reason why he began writing, which started a bit more recently, he had forgotten. As he wrote, his mind was clouded by ideas and hope, ideas for what's next and hope for the happiness of his characters — and as he types word after word on his phone, he forgets why he is writing all over again.

-

The early drafts—or the first part of the story—went like this: there were three brothers, named Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. They had one father, named Cronus, who came back from a journey, with gifts.

"To be fair, I'll let you draw from these sticks. Whoever gets the longest one shall rule the heavens and the skies; the second longest one shall be the protector of the seas; and whoever gets the shortest stick will manage the Underworld," Cronus had said in his stupid first draft and the rest was introductory history. While Zeus was triumphantly smiling, and while Poseidon was examining the stick thoughtfully, Seungcheol's main character, Hades, grumbled as he stepped out of the cottage (Seungcheol isn't familiar with Greek mythology), because _he_ couldn't accept the fact that he had the worst draw out of the three of them; that means he's getting the worst gift, so while Zeus gets the heavens and the skies, which cover almost everything; and Poseidon takes control of the water — a powerful compound (water is not an element); _he_ gets literal dirt and screaming souls.

Then the next part is where it gets tricky. Seungcheol had a lot of drafts and versions over one event: Persephone's entrance in the Underworld. And it wasn't supposed to be Persephone, anyway. He had planned to name his new character _Jisoo_ or something.

But he then remembers the piercings on the lobe and the helix of their ear. And he remembers making the stupid pun of _Pierce-ephone._ Yeah, right. So, Persephone it is. Just like the real Persephone, Seungcheol's version hadn't had a definite character. Hadn't had a definite personality.

Gosh, writing was such a struggle.

For the final version, however, Hades simply stepped out of the cottage, grumbling, and the sunlight reflects to his eyes. He shields himself. Then he realizes it is because the sunlight had hit _someone's_ ear piercings, and the light had bounced somewhere, and that happened to be Hades' eyes.

"Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hades had said in this version.

The ear-pierced person, who was busy with their flowers suddenly looked at Hades' way. Hades could've called them a _he_ but he doesn't know them, and Cronus taught him to always mind the correct pronouns.

"Thy piercings blinded this sight of mine!"

"Kore," someone called from the balcony of a nearby cottage. The both of them looked up to see it was a small lady. "Finish your job."

-

Presently, Seungcheol stops reading the first chapter because a figure arrives by the doorframe and knocks on the already-open door.

"Hey, Cheol," Joshua calls. _He's_ already dressed up for his daily volunteer-work, neat and simple. Joshua is smiling and _he_ looks absolutely perfect, but there's something wrong. There's _another_ thing that's wrong. "I told you I'd leave tomorrow for good, right?"

"Yeah."

"Um, my room is a bit of a mess, but I swear it will be clean once I finish packing up."

"Okay."

Joshua nodded. "I have to leave now for work."

"Ah. I'll walk you to the—"

"It's just the door. No need to accompany me," Joshua cuts off. _He_ raises _his_ hand to touch the lobe and the helix of _his_ ear, where _his_ piercings should have been.

So that's what's wrong. _He_ took off _his_ piercings today.

"Um, what would you like to have for lunch? And at what time can I give it to you?"

Joshua seems scandalized. "There's no need, Cheol. They'd feed. Why wouldn't they?"

Seungcheol knows it's a lie. There hadn't been enough food to feed all of them involved in the activity. "It's different last week," he says carefully. "I'm just worried. As a roommate, you know."

Roommate is an understatement.

"I don't really want to have this conversation in the morning, right now, of all times. Take care of the bakery." Joshua leaves the doorframe and the other hears _his_ footsteps slowly become quieter as _he_ went farther.

Seungcheol remembers that Joshua has an odd dislike for having the last word, so he shouts, "take care, too!"

He is met by the sound of a door click and the silence of their temporarily shared apartment, but Seungcheol is happy with the small probability that Joshua's day can be a little bit better upon knowing _he_ didn't have the last word.

Later that morning, Seungcheol neglects his writing to prepare for work. He makes a sandwich for himself, for the sake of being quick, and passes by Hansol's worn-out mythology book lying on top of the fridge. He left it there before Hansol moved out of Seungcheol's apartment a year ago, due to the latter's growing interest in mythology. He briefly feels a spark in his mind on how much he missed the kid, but it quickly leaves, because this isn't the first time he feels like missing him... like missing _them._ He makes weird mouth movements as a distraction.

When he is all ready to leave, he rushes towards the door, accidentally bumping onto something.

It was the shoerack-turned-bookshelf he had modified for Hansol three years ago. He ignores the small pain on his knee and leaves the apartment, leaving it empty once again.

-

_It's been seven hours since Hades was managing the Underworld, but he can already confirm it's nothing but literal dirt and screaming souls._

_"Please calm down," he pleaded to one soul. "I'm so sorry you have to meet death, but your time on Ea—"_

_Judging by their loud screech, the soul wasn't comforted._

_Hades frowned. "Sorry."_

_After the first day of management, Hades was the first to reach the cottage back home. The lightning strikes at random times, which surprised no one, considering the fact it was already known that the three brothers were on their first day of_ training. _Then a large sea creature flew from the lake on his left. Hades frowned and ignored that._

_He waited for his brothers and father on the porch, occasionally looking up in interest. The sky was slowly transforming into a shade of dark blue, going through mixed periods of orange, violet, and pink, then random lightnings would strike. Hades laughed when thunder followed, too._

_Then Piercings appears out of nowhere, like doves or rabbits from a magician's set of props. They were holding a basket of bread._

_Hades glared at the piercings on one of their ears. Now that he can see them completely, he just noticed that the other ear was free of anything._

_"What's with the face?" it was them who approached him._

_"I saw thy piercing."_

_"Kore!" the same lady yelled from afar. They merely reacted, and this Piercings person left._

_"See you around."_

_"You too."_

_-_

While waiting for the bus to arrive, Seungcheol remembers the next few times he had properly interacted with Joshua. From what used to be meaningless glances from afar turned into internal acknowledgements- his brain won't stop saying _that's the person from the bus stop._ He remembers seeing Joshua leave a market, he remembers seeing Joshua walk around with a guitar, he remembers seeing Joshua talking with their— _his_ mother outside of the church.

Using the pronoun _he_ on Joshua felt wrong, up to this day. He remembers seeing the look on Joshua's face as _he_ had told Seungcheol what happened. It makes Seungcheol feel sad all over again.

Presently, the bus arrives. Seungcheol gets in. He's not allowed to be sad. It's too early, a little bridge from dawn to the sunny morning, and he has some baking to do.

He remembers waiting for Hansol to get home in front of the apartment building. It was three years ago, back when Hansol just moved in, and it was slightly crowded outside; there must've been a gathering by the nearby fast food chain. He had forgotten. He — Seungcheol — was sitting on the sidewalk, which was the 'porch' in his story, when he had seen Joshua again, holding hands with _his_ mother. _His_ head was down then, and Seungcheol suspected _he_ felt a little embarrassed to be treated like a child in public.

Or maybe not. Seungcheol was just being stereotypical. His mind immediately pedaled back to those starter pack memes, remembering the one with 'strict parents,' with words including: _feeling conscious when it happens in public._

Joshua didn't look up at him. Or to anyone at that matter. But _his_ mother said something and that's the only time _he_ moved his head: to listen.

Presently, Seungcheol looks out to the window and notices it's his stop. He taps his transportation card before getting down, then he heads towards the bakery. He quickly changes into his uniform once he's inside.

The day starts all over again.

-

_"Kore, I'll handle this. You can go play with the angels now." Demeter, their mother, has that look in her eye. "Only the angels, darling."_

_Persephone feels like their screams and shouts have been heard by the gods. Or something like that._

_"Thank you, mother."_

_Persephone leaves their mother, Demeter, and wanders over to the Underworld, located inside a little cave that leads to the mantle of the Earth, where they find Hades trying to calm the souls down. The Underworld is fiery and wide._

_It looks uncomfortable, too, but it's better than being with their mother. And besides, there is no one guarding it anyway. It's an open entrance. Persephone can go in._

_Then Hades, who is sitting on the edge of a cliff in the Underworld, finally turns his head, and he sees Persephone. The person with piercings._

_"Why are you here?"_

_"I have time on my hands."_

_"Okay, but that's not allowed." Hades watches the souls for a bit, before patting the space next to him. "You can sit down and watch for now, I guess. Before this is guarded."_

_"Awesome." Persephone sits down, their feet dangling on the edge._

_"I'm Hades, by the way. And my father told me to always use the proper pronouns on people to be polite. So... you are?"_

_"Kore. My mother thinks I'm a_ he _but I prefer I'm a_ they. _Nice to meet you."_

_Hades nods in reply and watches the souls again. There were no new souls so far today, so he simply watches over the ones who are here, hoping that the little breakfast he had prepared would calm them down._

_"Oh, I think that's my grandfather."_

_"Do you miss him?"_

_"I never even met him." Persephone shrugs. "But my mother is religious. She wants me to pray for someone whom I never even met."_

_-_

It was the afternoon when Seungcheol is granted a break. He was already done with the orders, already done cleaning up, and he is currently rushing to Joshua's place.

He arrives outside of the public library, panting, because Joshua does charity work in the library by giving free education to children in need. One of the people there recognize him, with the name of Seungkwan, and Seungcheol raises the little bag he had prepared, telling them that he brought them lunch. For all of them.

"Meow!" A ginger cat meows his way. "Meow!"

"Thanks. How thoughtful, hyung. Smells nice. Ignore the ginger cat, by the way." Seungkwan accepts the bag.

"There's your favorite, Kwan. By the way. Can you leave Joshua a portion? And, um, make sure he eats?"

_He,_ there's that term again.

Seungkwan promises he would. Then he says, "Joshua is busy right now, though, if you are looking for him."

Joshua had been 'too busy' to see him for three days in a row whenever Seungcheol visits the public library. He forces a smile. "No, it's alright. Enjoy the food and just... make sure he eats." Seungcheol grins like nothing's wrong. "And you! You should eat too!"

Three years ago, the first time Seungcheol and Joshua properly interacted was when Joshua wandered over to Hansol's campus, but not at the bus stop, where Seungcheol was waiting for his roommate to come out of his last class so they can work on Seungcheol's thesis together — he was having a difficult time! He only wanted someone to check on his grammar before he can finally pass the latest final work.

"Why are you here?" Seungcheol asked three years ago, knowing Joshua doesn't school there.

"I have time in my hands before my next subject. In my school... I mean."

Back then, Seungcheol didn't know Joshua meant they were getting homeschooled.

"Okay." Seungcheol also noticed the piercings. "But that's not allowed. This is kind of a strict university." He tapped on the nearby post. "You can do that for now, I guess, before this is guarded."

"Awesome."

Three years ago, they somewhat developed a little routine. Seungcheol would sometimes pass by Joshua on his way to school, sometimes on his way for a part-time job interview, or maybe in front of the apartment building, the 'porch' in his story. They became friends, they kept in touch, and the rest was history.

What was coincidental, just like all interactions in the world, became intentional. From passing each other from their separate ways to having Seungcheol wait outside the little house the Church group meets in every Friday. Then on Sundays, they completely do not see each other, because while Joshua gets occupied for an hour for a mass, Seungcheol tries to finish all his tasks and sometimes uses the time to call his mom.

On one Friday, Seungcheol remembered looking up from his phone when he got bored of looking at starter pack memes saved on his album. He was hiding behind plants and stuff, and out of extreme, extreme boredom, he tried to zoom in his vision to see what was happening inside the little house.

People, people, and more people. A girl. A book. Someone laughing. Someone's hat. Joshua's mother. An arm. A handshake. A pat on the shoulder. A radio. Then Joshua, who had a tight smile. They were in view for at least two seconds before they walked away.

Seungcheol looked away and tried to remember their latest lecture a few hours ago, just to prepare for some quiz.

Several minutes later, the meeting ended.

"Hey there, Hades," Joshua greeted him then, slightly scaring him.

Seungcheol stepped out of his little hideout and said, "you seem happy now."

"Because you're finally out of your classes, and I know how much you're tired."

"Try me, faker."

Joshua laughed. Their voice was rough and it reminded Seungcheol of someone who never spoke for ages, like this was the first time they laughed again and they're testing the waters. The pair began walking.

"Not really, but I have to admit that the meeting gets tedious sometimes. I'm a growing boy almost in my twenties. Routines can be... too robotic, you know? I'm running out of stuff to share and my fingers are getting tired from practicing. For, you know, the mass."

"That's a wonderful way to word it out!"

Joshua made jazz hands and Seungcheol saw briefly how calloused the pads of his fingers are. Then they're back in his pockets. "Anyway, what's up with you today?"

"I got paired up with this guy named Jeonghan for today's dish. He's very smart and he makes small comments sometimes that sound stupid but he's very nice."

That's usually what happened on Fridays. Then Joshua would walk Seungcheol home, and along the way, Seungcheol would rant or laugh about some stupid starter pack memes while Joshua would patiently listen.

Joshua always, always, ALWAYS listened. Like how they simply hummed when Seungcheol told them he was bisexual, and Seungcheol was happy that the whole coming out thing didn't need to be grand or anything. It was just a casual statement, like a random aesthetic bag on a starter pack meme.

"I'm bisexual."

Then they hummed. He looked at them and he sees they're smiling.

"Oh gosh, you're like Hansol." Seungcheol laughed then. "Wow, this is so cool!"

Joshua only adjusted the guitar bag he'd been holding as a response. "Why? Do people give you a hard time about it?"

So the first time Joshua truly opened up, which was around two months since the two became friends, Seungcheol cherished it to the core. It was a Friday, then, and he waited for them again. Along the way, Joshua said, "You know what? I just wanna share something with you! The Cat Returns is a wonderful movie. It's my favorite of all time. I was kinda hoping I would get to watch it today. I don't know, I had the feeling that I'm going to be obsessed about it again or something."

"Slow down, dude."

"It's an anime. Released in 2002 or 1999... 0r 2004. I forgot, but whatever. It's beautiful. As we were doing the meeting I was thinking about it."

They both turned right.

"...I think it's because I saw a cat earlier. But, I don't know. I watched it before and it's just..." Joshua made weird motions with their hands, like gas molecules heated up, before making exploding motions. "In my heart, you know? I love it from the bottom of my heart."

"You love it from the bottom of your hypothalamus," he corrected. "Hypothalamus. Responsible for emotions."

"I don't know and/or CARE about that."

"Okay. I just got that from Sol. Anyway, tell me more about this anime."

Joshua grinned so wide. It was scary and adorable and just so... Joshua. Then they went on happily about the main character named Haru and the "Kingdom of Cats."

By the third month the two were friends, Seungcheol had stopped waiting for him on Fridays. He was busy with university and Joshua understood. From what were days of seeing each other turned into a few hours per week, and what used to be verbal communication became limited to text messages. Not that it's a bad thing! They all have their own lives.

_Can't talk to you right now I have to finish chapters for thesis,_ Seungcheol had sent back then, three years ago.

_I WONDER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE WILLING TO FINISH YOUR S***,_ Joshua had replied. _GOOD LUCK!!!!!_

Even more months later and Joshua's Friday meetings ceased, with some hours placed on Tuesdays or some other days. Joshua had always 'wandered around' Seungcheol's university, a little farther away from Hansol's, on their free time.

The first time Joshua showed up, with their guitar bag and yellow choir shirt, a lecture-drained Seungcheol felt like Atlantis whose weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Shua!" He called excitedly, running. He then collided into Joshua with a hug, the latter letting out a soft "damn."

"My only friend Jeonghan fucking passed the surprise exam so he was exempted! That genius lampshade. We had some recitation before the lecture and I didn't know anything!" He murmured on Joshua's clothes. "'M gonna fail."

"Try to make up for it next time -- that's the key. Let's head to a bakery; maybe we can get you a mood-lifter. And if we have time, we can watch The Cat Returns."

"Awesome! Awesome awesome awesome awesome awesome!"

"Who even says that? I know I did, but you gotta start having your own expressions." Joshua patted him at the back. "Cheol, kindly get off of me."

When Seungcheol had let go of him then, he had a good look at Joshua, and they seemed tired. The dark shades under their eyes were visible.

"Sorry, and thanks, you're very sweet."

"You deserve it for being a failure, I guess."

That's when another person came into view in Joshua's line of sight; a good-looking guy with a knowing smile. The guy cooed.

"So... is this why you wanted to make guitar cookies last we—"

"Stop making them uncomfortable, Han, shut up," he said good-naturedly, making a fake angry expression to which Jeonghan laughed at. The latter and Joshua made a small talk before bidding goodbye. "That's the Jeonghan guy you were talking about, right?"

"Yeah, he can be a pain but he's cool at the same time... _So!_ " Seungcheol made a little bounce in his step as the pair walked over towards the nearest bakery. "Your mom allowed you to be here?"

"Um... that's very awkward." Joshua placed their hands in their pockets. "She doesn't know."

With the limited knowledge of Seungcheol that Joshua and their mother have a strict-parenting relationship going on, he linked his left arm on Joshua's right, and they didn't flinch. It was the first time, and yet they acted as if it wasn't.

"Then why are you here?"

"How stupid can you be? To hang out you, dumbass. We haven't talked much in literal weeks. And you reply so coldly."

Joshua cannot fully curse anywhere else when there's their mother. Seungcheol pulls his left arm closer, and Joshua slightly gets closer, too. There's no malice; it's platonic.

"Fine, I'm sorry. But just to let you know, Sol and I have a job now at the pizza place. We're both the delivery guys, and schedule's on Sundays, then half-days on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for me. And -- get this -- if there's kitchen work needed, I'm usually the backup option."

"Kitchen work for you... like what? Cleaning?"

"Making the pizza!" Seungcheol replied, scandalized. "I can cook, you know!"

"Arrogant little mouse, you are. Perfect for a cat to chase, but worthless enough to be the one being chased," Joshua said lamely, in a faux narrator voice. "If I were the cat in the anime, and let's say the cat was chasing a rat in the story, I'd probably won't even bother chasing you."

Gosh, they were cringy. But Seungcheol liked his friend, anyway.

That was their third month of friendship, three years ago, and they never got to watch The Cat Returns together by then. Or ever. They hadn't finished the whole movie together.

Presently, Seungcheol leaves the public library and heads back to the bakery by traveling reversely. He sees the ginger cat again, wondering when _their_ cat will return.

Or if their cat will ever return.

If this is Mathematics, subsitute the word 'cat' with 'previous nature of relationship' and there, you have the interrogating equation.

-

_Hades is a heroic manager wannabe, who makes breakfast for the unhappy souls in the Underworld._

_Meanwhile, Perspehone is a free-spirited person deep inside. Think of a sparkly clothing hidden inside a simple cabinet._

_And Hades didn't know why he liked Persephone so much. Maybe it's because whenever they're together, they're confined. If they're together, only his dog, Cerberus, and the souls are the witnesses of their friendship. Maybe because Persephone was a breath of fresh air. A source of confidence. A confidant. A listener. A bully. A friend. Or maybe, Seungcheol_

_Seungcheol_ |

_Seungch_ |

_Se_ |

_H_ |

_Hades_ |

... _Or maybe, Hades just wants to be taken care of, for once. He didn't want to manage, to have someone under his care, or to be responsible for something. That doesn't mean he doesn't love what he manages, but he's just looking for another thing to depend on while he's having a lot on his plate._

_One day, he learned that once someone eats a fruit from the Underworld, they are to stay there forever. They may leave, but technically, they are to come back. He selfishly wants Persephone to eat a pomegranate. Something that one of the dead farmers have been growing in their Underworld compartment._

_Years later and he never asked Persephone to eat it, but he warned them._ Consent is important _, as their mother, Rhea, had told the three boys._

(Seungcheol knew that at this point, he's just making things up in the story.)

_-_

_Hades climbs down and shouts, while holding up a basket, "Morning! Breakfast! There you go, Jasmine rice for your... um,_ 'ulam' _?"_

_"Yeah, it's called entrée in your language. Thanks, Hades."_

_"You're welcome."_

_Hades just finished delivering the breakfast he had cooked for the souls in the Underworld. He gave the last one to the last compartment by the deepest level, which was occupied by a farmer who grows pomegranates, and he climbs up quickly with the help of the makeshift stairs (just a couple of rocks and sticks bound by some Scientific law or something) when he sees one of Cerberus' heads look at him with wide eyes._

_"What?"_

_The same head barks, moving its head towards the opening of the Underworld, headed to the Earth's surface. Hades leaves the place and steps out. He is on Earth. Then he sees Persephone talking to their mother. What was he to see here?_

_Suddenly, Demeter turns her head and he sees Hades. She looks at him straight in the eye._

_Cerberus suddenly makes sad dog noises in the background, as if to say, "you went up too slowly."_

_-_

Two years ago, around February, after it had been two years and two months since the pair's bus stop encounter, Seungcheol never expected to feel some kind of attraction to Joshua. It was more of a... you're-the-person-I-always-see-so-I-like-you. Maybe. Or so he thinks. Liking Joshua was like curling a rolled up piece of toilet paper around your finger to form a ring; unintentional, cannot-be-appreciated-by-many, and simple. Liking Joshua was like scrolling through starter pack memes and finding something that relates to you. Liking Joshua was like writing narrations instead of dialogues, because dialogues are difficult, but this act can only be appreciated by the author and not the critics. Liking Joshua was like defying the law of parallelism in your works; easy for the author, and bothering for the reader.

It was a Sunday afternoon then, and the mass either ended or went on, and he was standing outside of the Church, after he had delivered the last of the pizzas in a dormitory building nearby. Seungcheol just finished his task and found a secluded spot by the Church, with the choice of sitting there with his bike to wait for Hansol.

One minute... two minutes. Three minutes became four, and then the sound of footsteps prevail, along with a cheerful ending song. That meant that mass ended. Seungcheol decided to occupy his mind by re-reading lecture notes saved in his phone. It was all measurements and kitchen chemistry until muffled voices from the wall behind him grew louder and louder.

_"That's inappropriate."_ A woman's voice. He caught the words this time. _"I want you to be happy ... to be ... allowing ... this ..."_

A few more muffled words.

_"...A priest with a piercing seems..."_

The voices became more quiet.

_"You are a boy,"_ said the same woman. He finally recognized this as the voice of Joshua's mother. Seungcheol's mind screamed _oat flour_ to distract himself. Then he thought of _(romantic) YA Novels_ _starter packs_ , with nerds and bad boys and movie dates and Barbie antagonists. Then he heard Joshua's voice raise a little higher, and he was grounded, thinking that he's here, with anime weebs and bad cooks and after-meeting 'dates' and motherly antagonists.

_NO, SEUNGCHEOL. DO NOT ANTAGONIZE THEIR MOTHER. BE MORE RESPECTFUL._

Seungcheol apologized to Joshua's mother in his head.

_"...Hades is ... not a bad influence... I don't even know his real name ..."_ the same woman said. He couldn't hear Joshua's replies, for they are too quiet. But he did hear _"It'll only be before I became a priest!"_

Then, silence. It seemed like Joshua had the last word. But before Seungcheol could think about it, a bike arrived in his line of sight.

"I'm done, hyung," Hansol told him then. "What the heck are you doing... behind the Church?"

"I'm getting some shade." He got up and hopped on his bike. "Let's go."

The two boys went their way back to the pizza place. Seungcheol did his best to divert his attention at the right times, because, _gosh,_ he couldn't not think of Joshua, of what happened. He had to understand the mother's side, too. But there was something out of place in the picture, like an uncropped PNG transparent in a starter pack meme.

He accepted Joshua for who they are. Never mind the piercings -- it's cute but it doesn't make him like Joshua. Never mind the anime, he's not much of a fan, though it's very nice. Never mind the choir, because Seungcheol isn't interested in publicly sharing musical "talents." Never mind the guitar, he doesn't play that, anyway. Never mind their lame comments, that can be very cringy.

He literally liked nothing that Joshua likes. But he still liked the guy. Liking Joshua was like... something that he never expected to be nice. Like those romantic YA novels he was mocking a few minutes ago.

Later that night, when Seungcheol and Hansol were ready for bed (with the latter busy reading the mythology book), Seungcheol received text messages.

_you know cheol, i hate having the last word sometimes. it makes mw feellllll ..........like my voice is echoing in church...,,,_

_it's a bad analogy_

_but i know you get it_

_:) good night_

Seungcheol replied to them at that time, saying, _Let's call? I can transfer some load if you need to_

_YOU'RE THE EBST SEUNCGEOLLLL <E LETS DO IT wait i'll get my earphones_

Within the forty-seven minutes they called, Joshua cried, Seungcheol encouraged, and in the middle of the positive conversation, the confession happened.

Seungcheol couldn't remember how it happened, or what he said. But all he knew he confessed. Maybe he mentioned the words "good friend" or something. Maybe he mentioned the word "happy." He couldn't even remember Hansol's teasing comment, but he did remember there was a comment. And presently, as he tries to recall his own words, nothing comes up in his mind. Nothing comes up in his mind as he rides the bus, as he taps his transportation card, as he looks out the window, and as he gets off the vehicle.

Nothing came up, and by the looks of it today, that can be the ending of their story, too.

_-_

More text messages from two years ago:

_thanks for confessing to me. I LIKE YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_SJDHS CHEOL I'M SO HAPPY_

_GSHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR LIKING ME Idk what i did buuut it's important we're here!!! night. good luck on ur s***._

To which Seungcheol replied with, _Why are you thanking???? There's no need to thank we just like each other no biggie_

_BIGGIE,,, YOU SAID BIGGIE WTH WHAT DID I TELL U ABOUT EXPRESSIONS??? CHOI SEUNGCHEOLLLLL_

_hahaha wait nvm my mom's gonna kill me but i love that u can be gay for me_

_Right. Anyways, goodnight. Sleep well._

_noooooo_

Presently, that's what Seungcheol is reminded of when he puts on his apron at the bakery, when his phone rings. A little box pops up and it says Joshua texted him, saying: _thanks for the food. buuut i ate outside. they're very happy w/ it tho!!!!!!! don't reply unless emergency._

Seungcheol keeps his phone and washes his hands.

-

_"Ah, well, it's a nice thing to hear that you like me," Persephone says politely, as they flick away the insects that try to destroy their farm. The wind is cold and Hades slightly feels like Zeus had done it on purpose to tell him that he needs to get back to work. "I'm very thankful."_ _They look at Hades with a mischievous smile. "Thanks, Hades. I appreciate that a lot."_

_"The thanks is a bit too much."_

_Persephone's earrings shine a little when someone adjusts the sunlight's angle. Maybe Apollo? Hades looks up. It was, indeed, Apollo._

_"Sunlight on metal. That means we're gonna burn under my mother's wrath." Persephone looks back, raising their eyebrows._

(It's slightly more classy compared to real life, but the event stays the same. The timeline is the same as how Seungcheol remembered it.)

-

Two years ago, their relationship was like a starter pack meme for _shy boy aesthetic_ with 80's clothes and round glasses and ukeleles. Except! They never really wore or used those things, but one way to describe their relationship was the word Underworld.

In the surface of the Earth, everyone can see everything; but they kept _it_ underground, where it thrived amongst the secrets and those who do not have enough power to break them apart.

Hansol was the first person Seungcheol told, and he received the news happily, even offering Joshua a doodle of Circe that he drew in between work breaks. Joshua kept the doodle and had it on his clear phone case. But- if Seungcheol is honest- nothing much changed in their relationship. It was as if they were friends, but maybe a bit closer and a bit more... weird. Like keeping on those toilet paper rings on one's finger, and having it as an inside joke; like seeing a particular starter pack and remembering a specific person. It's unintentional, cannot-be-appreciated-by-many, and simple.

On one rainy evening, the two of them, along with Hansol (kind of), were watching The Cat Returns from the ratty secondhand TV. This isn't an aesthetic, it's something that's been there for decades. The youngest of the three was searching for something in the modified bookshelf after three minutes into the movie.

"You know, the cat was really charming and I had an internal crisis and internal... scolding to myself on why I shouldn't like him," Joshua shared.

Seungcheol pouted. "I was thinking of the same thing too!"

"Back off!" Hansol came back with a book. "He's mine! I watched that anime for a lot of times already, and you know, sometimes I want to be Haru, not because of the cat thing, but look, you get to be well-liked by cats!" He plopped down on the couch. Then he opened his book. "See, I have this sketchpad, and when the movie ends I guarantee you I have the perfect sketch of Haru. But," he waggled a finger. "Remember, I never drew- or drawn, was it? Whatever the word is, this is the first time I'm drawing her."

"Okay, and?"

"The both of you shhhh!" Seungcheol made shushing noises and placed his index finger on his lips. "I'm trying to watch!"

"Us too, Hades."

Seungcheol remembered Joshua's odd dislike for having the last word, so he said, "Fine."

Lightning strikes and thunder follows. But the electricity suddenly went out, too. At the same moment, fear began to ignite in Seungcheol's head.

"Um, hyung, I don't know if we have a lamp for this but I used up all the matches last week and we have spare candles. I'm afraid of fire."

"Then how did you use up all the matches?" Joshua asked Hansol.

"I had my s-- my, um, my friends to do it for me. Chan and Kwan, best team, yeah."

A _thud._ A frantic search for a dependable body. Then a small, yet deep voice of apology. "Okay, well, while the cooperation is nice, Hansol, Seungcheol here is kicking me- geez, calm down, please."

"No."

"Then _just_ imagine you're sleeping, Cheol."

"I can't. I might see things."

He heard Joshua (quietly) sigh in mild annoyance.

"Shua!" He clung on tighter. "Are you annoyed?"

Hansol chimed in, "They would be if you keep on being like that, hyung." To which Seungcheol ignored due to the underlying offense (that _he's_ annoying).

"And your piercings aren't even shining," Seungcheol muttered. Joshua, although reluctantly, allowed him to rest on their shoulder. And, quite annoyingly, Joshua lightly twisted Seungcheol's ear to remind him of their (and Hansol's) presence. Seungcheol whined in hurt.

"The _fuck_ was that for?!"

"For you to not be scared, you big baby," they said like it's not an insult. It wasn't. Hansol laughed and Seungcheol felt slightly relieved. Joshua played with his hair and Seungcheol was finally calm.

"Thanks, Shua."

Joshua only laughed. He didn't know why that was their response, but...

Yeah, but. _But._ It's like Seungcheol didn't know Joshua that much at all.

And there was also another time, when Joshua visited Seungcheol at the latter's campus. They had their school uniform this time, plus their guitar bag, and Jeonghan knew what was up the second they ruffled Seungcheol's hair after polite greetings. His facial expression kind of bothered Seungcheol good-naturedly, but at least Joshua ruffled his hair, which is nice, because they both knew that once they leave, they aren't going to be able to do casual touchy stuff apart from pinching and flicking and ear twisting.

That's just how they went. Nothing really changed. There were days without seeing each other and verbal rants and text messages. Nothing's changed. Seungcheol was happy about that, and he still is, with the present hope that they could've been just like that.

Until six months passed by and it was September.

It was, coincidentally, another Sunday, but it's evening this time, and when Seungcheol and Hansol were getting back home from work, they both bump in to Joshua -- yellow shirt and guitar and piercings and all.

It was beside the Church.

It wasn't crowded at that time.

It was still "Underworld."

There were people, but there weren't much. Everyone was tired and stupid. Or maybe it was just Seungcheol who was tired and stupid.

"Hi, Shua," Hansol greeted, getting one back in response. Then he nudged Seungcheol. "Hey, greet them, you haven't seen each other in weeks."

But Seungcheol, against his starter pack decision framework, did something beyond greeting. He saw that Joshua was tired. The dark bags, the raspy _hey Sol,_ and the calloused fingers when they waved their hand told him Joshua was tired and so Seungcheol moved closer to hold their face and kiss their forehead.

Their soft voice began to say, "Tha-"

_"Shua!"_

Joshua's eyes widened and they froze.

_Yikes, Cheol, what have you done?_ The three of them look at where the voice came from, and it was from Joshua's mother. She walked immediately towards them. Seungcheol freaking _panicked._

"It's... a tradition!" Seungcheol squeaked in reply, panicking. "Um, I'm mixed," he lied. "Like my cousin," he pointed to Hansol, "and that much is obvious, Ma'am. I have no rom-- have no romantic interest on your son. Please, understand. He's my friend and we just do this for friendship purposes."

Joshua's mother observed him, her eyes scanning Seungcheol from head to toe. It was the longest minute Seungcheol has ever lived in his life. The place had sounds but it seemed like the woman had the control to mute them all.

"Maybe I believe you," she said calmly. "But Shua, we are going to talk tonight. Nice to meet the both of you boys, but kindly excuse us, please." She took Joshua by the arm and their face was void of any emotion.

"I'm so stupid," Seungcheol said when the two got home.

"No, hyung, you're not. I'm sorry for suggesting." Hansol gave him a small smile. Seungcheol ignored him and went to the kitchen to make dinner, even though he's tired.

For the next few days, the text messages grew less, but Seungcheol didn't worry about that. Because what matters is the both of them when they meet again.

_how's jeonghan??? ;)_

_Still making small comments and busy bullying me,,_

_ey stop overreacting!!! he's a cool guy :(_

_ICB you,_ Seungcheol had sent.

However, what shocked Seungcheol was Joshua's next two replies: _Dude you're the best I support the both of you with your girlfriend. Hope u be togetjer fpr a lpnht time_

_together* for* long* time*_

Their mother must be watching.

Oh, gods.

-

_"I have to leave. Here's a flower for your girlfriend," Persephone says loudly before skipping away to where Demeter was standing._

_Hades calls out a "thanks!" and gets back inside the Underworld._

_Saying words like that felt wrong. Cerberus can only bark, but those sounds are empty and there's really no solution to this problem._

_-_

Two years ago, around October, Seungcheol and Joshua finally meet again, at Seungcheol's campus. Jeonghan pushed him lightly to the bench where Joshua was sitting with his uniform and guitar. And guitar bag. "Go get your man."

"Take care in commuting, Han," Seungcheol said.

When Seungcheol sat next to him, Joshua smiled.

"Hear me out. Okay. _So,_ I missed you, a lot, and I'm so sorry for that time. In fancy words, we can say that what was intentional became coincidental."

"That's a wonderful way to put it," Joshua said, fiddling with their piercings. "By the way, can I open up to you?"

"Yeah? Sure. Go ahead."

"My mom wants me to be a priest," Joshua said. "And you know how priests work, right? They are not supposed to be married. Because they are supposed to devote their lives in serving God in... you know, missions, masses, and stuff. It's nice." They looked at Seungcheol. "I mean, I'm... I'm devoted to my religion, being a Catholic and all, but... yeah. I love my mom, I love God, and God is all about compassion and acceptance but some people just don't seem to get that part, and, anyway, you know, it's- it's not only that. I also love..."

Seungcheol leaned forward with raised eyebrows. "Also love...?"

"... _this._ " Joshua looked at him with an unamused smile. "I love you too, of course. You're my only friend outside of the choir kids. And Hansol too. But you're my best friend and I don't think I can sacrifice something beautiful enough to something that what my mom wants for me."

Seungcheol wanted to cry.

"My mom wants me to stop with this whole non-binary 'thing,' too."

Seungcheol held their hand. They squeezed his in return.

"It's not a thing, it's not a phase, I'm really like this because... just because. Is the reason _why_ important?"

Joshua wasn't crying, but the void of emotion on his face hit Seungcheol differently.

"Use the pronouns on me, the he or him one, it's alright. Nothing too dramatic. And... maybe if you get married with a lovely girl, I'll be the one to officiate your wedding." Joshua raised his eyebrows playfully, with a small smile, but neither of them are amused, nor happy.

"Whatever will help you is okay."

"Right."

"On a positive note, I'm going to graduate next year." It came off as monotonous but the intention of clearing the atmosphere is understandable.

Joshua squeezed his hand with a smile. "Congrats."

That happened on an October two years ago.

That was also the same day Seungcheol began reading Hansol's books from the modified bookshelf, and before he knew it, in between school papers and dishes and exams and work hours, he found himself writing different variations of the first part of the story.

-

_"Demeter wants me to come home, Hades."_

_"You were here for like five minutes for today. You're not even kept in or anything."_

_"I meant I'm not allowed to see you again."_

_"Really?"_

_"KIDDING! Actually, she says I can hang out with you for as long as I want as long as I don't eat fruits."_

_Hades bites on the pomegranate he was eating. "Sounds good to me."_

(A deleted draft.)

-

_One year ago, and three months since that conversation_  
  


"What about your mom?" He asked on one of those days, when the two were spending quality time for Joshua's birthday in his apartment. "Does she- is she okay with this?" 

"What's wrong?" Joshua asked him distractedly then, while they were fixing some tune stuff in their guitar. Whatever. "We just talked about how staying with you (and Hansol) both in your apartment is a nice idea, and now... You seem so off."

"Nothing."

Joshua didn't ask him any more questions. Feeling slightly discouraged, Seungcheol decided to light up the mood. "You know, I was scrolling through my feed earlier today..."

"With what, starter packs?"

"Yes, and I thought... I think I found the perfect one to describe this current atmosphere." He made weird motions with his hands. "It's called _Plant Mom_ and there's this one part saying _collects fake plants for the aesthetic._ How can you be a plant mom if your babies are fake?"

Joshua didn't reply, too busy with their guitar.

"I mean, in real life, adoption is real... you can have babies... you are the mom anyway..."

Joshua was still too busy with their guitar.

"Hey," Seungcheol called. "Are you listening?"

Joshua hummed distractedly.

"Are we still talking?"

"You're the only one talking."

Seungcheol's eyebrows furrowed.

"...What..."

Then Joshua looked up at him and smiled sweetly. "Sorry. Did I offend you?"

Did they? Seungcheol was just left confused. "No..."

"I was testing your patience. You're decent enough," they admitted. "My mom told me that's the trait people would appreciate most in a lover."

Seungcheol raised an eyebrow. "Do you appreciate it with me?"

Joshua was visibly taken aback, but they kept their cool. "Uh, I was doing it for your future... lover. Someone else after me."

Future lover after them? That sounded so absurd. He cannot imagine being with someone else. He was here, with an anime-loving, lowercase-typing, guitar-playing person, and despite the fact he was none of those things, he wouldn't trade that very person for anyone else in the world. Seungcheol looked at them again and saw that their smile twitched.

They just said the last word.

"I don't want anyone else to be after you, if I'm being honest," he replied quickly.

After doing a quick check around the place—the freaking apartment area, which was obviously void of Joshua's mother—Seungcheol laughed. "You look so stupid."

"Oh, do I?"

That was probably the only time Joshua didn't mind the last word. They got up immediately after so, with their guitar and its case, and kissed Seungcheol goodbye on the cheek as if that fixes everything.

-

Presently, Jeonghan snaps his fingers in front of Seungcheol's face.

"Hey. You don't want me to give you bad reviews for spacing out on a customer, right?"

Seungcheol bows his head. "Sorry, sir. You're right."

With that, Jeonghan softens. "Is everything okay? You're not the type to be distracted at work."

"It's okay. Anyway," Seungcheol visibly changes personas, and begins to put on a professional smile, "how may I help you?"

-

One year ago, and three months since _that_ conversation, which was a day after Joshua didn't mind having the last word, Seungcheol received a text from them. 

_im moving in there soon btw. i told my mom it's for the seminary. to transport better! im excited to see hansol and you._

_Awesome. We'll help you move._

The messages were a lie. They weren't moving for better transport, although that one was a plus, but they were moving in to enjoy their last days together. And maybe come up with a spontaneous plan in the end.

(Presently, Seungcheol knows it's too late for that plan to happen.)

The day that Joshua Hong arrived was the day that Seungcheol had opened the door to see a yellow-shirt guy with oily hair, and a guitar case that's almost falling off their shoulders.

"Well..." he felt a burst of laughter itching its way out of his voice box. "You look—"

"Not one word of your stupid starter packs. I'm not your _broke first lover_ or something," they said a little threateningly, but they immediately relaxed when he decided to pull the guitar case strap before it'd fall.

"Does your mom approve of this?"

"Yeah. I guess. Don't care."

On that same day, Jeonghan was inside, as he and Seungcheol were working on a project together. The former rised up from sitting, waving and grinning to Joshua.

"Oh, Jeonghan's here," Joshua commented, then smiled, as they pushed their luggage inside and closed the door. "Hello. Are you busy?"

"Yes, and your room is over there." Seungcheol pointed to the spare room. "Fix your stuff yourself."

Joshua rolled their eyes. "Bitch."

It was an afternoon then, that left Seungcheol's head loaded with complicated lecture applications and jumbled up vocabulary. Joshua suddenly barged in looking like a dorky pirate of some sort, reminding him how he had chosen a cringy loser for a boyfriend. . .

. . .that he liked a lot. He laughed at the reaction, pulling their hand and kissing its knuckles.

"I'll help you," Jeonghan offered, walking over.

"You're just looking for an excuse not to work, Han!"

Jeonghan ignored him, yet it made him laugh. He didn't know why, but he found Jeonghan funny like this.

"He ignored you, you little shit," Joshua pointed out sweetly. "Get rekt!"

He groaned. "Please never say that again."

Anyway. The door to the spare room closed after his classmate pulled his boyfriend in, and the voices of the two became muffled.

And so Seungcheol spent the afternoon working on their project, as Jeonghan and Joshua hit it off in the spare room. Time stretched into minutes, then into hours. When Jeonghan left (rather satisfied), however, Joshua sat next to him on the floor.

Seungcheol leaned to rest himself against Joshua, but they moved backwards, letting him fall.

They laughed obnoxiously.

"You.. c-cunt," Seungcheol muttered. Then he flinched.

They laughed harder. "What was that, Cheol?"

"I can't swear!"

They laughed at him.

(Presently, Seungcheol finds himself smiling at the memory.)

-

_"Can I stay here, Hades?"_

_"For as long as you want and as long as you need."_

_-_

Having Joshua in the apartment went... unexpectedly quiet. There was no _oh hey we have a new roommate!_ or _it's game night!_ or anything like that. It was just Hansol, Joshua, and Seungcheol, who had casual _the person I work with sucks_ rants and _are you still going to eat?_ questions. Hansol used to bury himself in his college stuff, living off basic meals. Joshua just minded their own business, never asking anyone to join them in errands. And Seungcheol? He used to lie down the bed after work and college and all that, just to scroll down and to read personality descriptions. 

It was fine. Like a low maintenance friendship. Except that he used to wait for Joshua on the front "porch" if he goes home earlier than they would. 

"What are you doing?" Joshua asked the first time he did that. "Why aren't you upstairs?" 

The question felt too serious for the both of them. There was no joke, or anything. 

"I was waiting for you."

Joshua chuckled, but told him softly, "thanks." 

And maybe that was it. Were there any _you're such a dork_ moments or _what happened at work today?_ questions? Were there any forehead kisses or hair ruffles? Was there laughter or new inside jokes? None. But they did have _Cheol what did I tell you about waiting for me_ nags and mindless piercing touches. Does that make up for everything? 

Even if the apartment itself was the epitome of the Underworld they'd been dreaming about, they were acting like they were in the heavens — they were farther apart than he'd thought. 

-

Presently, Seungcheol tries to shake the memory off his mind. He doesn't need this nostalgic bullcrap getting in the way of his work.

("Cheol, a little help in the kitchen please.")

So what if Joshua leaves? Nothing will change. The apartment will still be silent and almost unused. He has other problems — bills and errands and customers — so why in the Underworld is he thinking about Hong?

Seriously, so what?  
  


-  
  


One year ago, Hansol moved out.

He didn't let anyone help him. All his things were gone and he left a set of doodles by the fridge, and a text message to the both of them. Seungcheol's read:

_I'm moving out, hyung. I cant tell this to shua but pls dont tell._

_I love the both of you but you're both scaring me. You guys have a weird atmosphere and I want you both to work it out. You're always so sad and not even my jokes can cheer you up. Not even The Cat Returns can cheer you up. I had to stop playing the anime (it took hours to download btw)_

_Please work this out :( I want you guys to be happy._

_I'll be at my best team's._

_And i left my myth book for you to read. you seem to love it so much. enjoy!!_

_From: Hansol :)_

Reading that message punched him in the gut, forcing his eyes to see the truth around him. He can't ignore the fact that things were falling apart; that things were getting toxic, even pushing someone away because of it. He can't ignore, _can't turn a blind eye,_ that things aren't going to be the same again. It felt heavy. 

_I'm sorry, Hansol._ He texted back.

_It's okay!! I just hope you'll be happy soon enough, hyung._

"Happy soon enough" were parting words that he was not hoping to receive from a younger brother. Did Seungcheol lack of shame, as an older brother, enough that even Hansol had to say those to him?

(Joshua must've heard the muffled sobs when they got home, but the fact that Seungcheol never responded—even with an "I'm fine" lie—proved that Joshua never asked.)

When he finally stepped out of the room, with eyes no longer wet, he saw them lounging on the couch, with a bowing head, slouched back, and fingers holding a reddened ear.

"Shua?"

He received a muffled groan.

"Are you okay?" He aimed to sound casual. "What's with your ear? It's so. . . red."

Joshua told him nothing, and that is probably why Seungcheol never knew that their mother yanked it to pull the piercing off. As if they worked that way.

"Are you sure it's nothing?"

No response.

"Um, I think you're missing a piercing." He walked over, then kneeled down to check up on them better. "What happened?" He asked softly, stroking their hair. It wasn't oily anymore.

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing if you're sad."

"I'm not sad."

He massaged their head further, fingers going through hair strands relaxingly. "Okay, I won't ask."

Suddenly, Joshua looked up at him, eyes bloodshot as if they were crying.

"Thanks for not pressuring me, Seungcheol."

"You're welcome..?"

"I'm also really grateful that you like me. You know, when you confessed?"

He was taken aback, fingers stopping momentarily until Joshua bent their head down again.

After an awkward pause, he playfully pushed their knee. "Are you sure I just like you, Joshua?"

They never answered, so he remained quiet, stroking their hair until they told him to stop. Dinner went okay. Night was busy. He buried himself in his homework while they locked himself up in their room.   
  


_-_

_Present_

Being in the kitchen is no easy task. It was really hot, really cramped, and really busy, but the fact that it is all that made Seungcheol love his job, anyway. 

Suddenly, he realizes that he always likes what was the opposite of what's good for him. He _could have_ had another job, that can take place in some air conditioned research lab instead of a humid place; he _could have_ used his scientific knowledge for teaching; and maybe he _could have_ chosen someone whom has no family issues, whom does not give him secondhand embarrassment, or whom does not have interests that were far from his. 

He could have liked Jeonghan — someone with potentially same interests and with potentially same bonds. But it's just... not the same. He never saw Jeonghan in that light no matter how much he admired the guy. The spotlight _was_ on Joshua, and Joshua alone. 

_Was._ He used _was_ because the spotlight is no longer on _him._ It shines alone, focusing on nothing but the spot that Joshua had been standing. 

Maybe Seungcheol moved on. 

Suddenly, the timer rings and snaps him out of his daze. 

-

They broke up a year ago like _this:_ when it was evening and Seungcheol's waiting for him on the "porch." Coming from their mother's home, Joshua staggered on his way, and their boyfriend stood up to help them with their things.

"Don't touch me." The tone was calmly firm. "I'm tired."

The other decided not to ask, so the way to the apartment was silent. Nothing too harmful. Seungcheol walked steps ahead to open the door for the both of them, and even attempted to assist them again with their things.

"I can do this myself."

Joshua walked towards their room.

"Let's break up, Cheol, she's angry."

"So sudden?"

They shrugged. "We saw it coming, didn't we?" Then they got inside and closed the door without ever glancing back.

Just like that? They broke up just like that?

He followed and knocked on the door. "What did your mom do?"

A muffled response, "nothing."

"Can we please talk about this first?"

"I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Not now!"

"Please tell me. I'm getting worried about you."

"I'm not emotionally prepared! She doesn't like you, I'm getting punishments, I've been kicked out in choir for being gay, she's ashamed of me! I'm not happy, I'm confused, I'm scared, and I'm regretting, and I just need a fucking rest!"

He took a deep breath. Okay. Maybe they can't talk right now. Okay. It's fine. Wait for them. Be patient.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," added Joshua.

Silence.

"Will you let me in? We can just... I don't know, watch The Cat Returns platonically. Or something. I can hug you and we don't have to say a word."

"...No thanks. It's bad for the both of us."

Their relationship was no longer Underworld; it's a freaking hellhole. 

-

One year ago, Seungcheol and Joshua didn't know what to do. They were in a gray area — like a conversation that has obviously ended, but none of the speakers are leaving. Joshua heads out for their activities, while Seungcheol finishes requirements at home. They joke around but it just wasn't the same anymore. Even when Seungcheol graduated. Even he started working at the bakery.

The same thing happens when they get home that evening. Joshua gets home first, and Seungcheol sees him looking exhausted when he arrives hours later.

"It won't be long until my mother comes looking for me," they say immediately. "I mean, she knows I'm here, but..."

"But?" Seungcheol asks distractedly, opening his laptop.

"I think I just have to leave really soon." Joshua bangs his head lightly on the doorframe — a lame attempt to be casual.

"Okay, you can leave or stay if you want," Seungcheol says with a smile, opening his document. He ignores the way Joshua tries to compose _himself_. Because it doesn't matter, in any shape or form, on how the both of them will act around each other.

"So... What are you typing?"

"Nothing interesting."

"Oh, um." Joshua nods. "Okay. I'll just... continue packing. Sorry the room's a mess."

Is _he_ trying to fix things now? When it's all too late and the only thing left to happen is for _him_ to leave this apartment? When the only thing left to happen to Seungcheol is to be alone?

_Wait! No last words for Joshua, Cheol._ "It's okay; no one's gonna stay there, anyway. Take your time."

"Sure, sure."

Joshua turns on his heel, walks out, and closes the door. Seungcheol is going to have to get used to this silence, from now on, as if he never had this years ago.

_Anyway._ He looks at the story again, frowning at its last words: _For as along as you want and as long as you need._

The next morning, Seungcheol finds himself getting ready absentmindedly. From across the apartment, he can hear a few zips and tumbles, but he doesn't pay that any mind. He should be ready for this, anyway. He's accepted this a long time ago.

He brushes his teeth. He spits the toothpaste out. He washes his mouth. He gargles. _Not._

There are light knocks on the bathroom door.

"Seungcheol?" calls a sickeningly calm voice. "You there?"

"Yes?" He sounds so stupid, both answering and asking. But Joshua sounds _more_ stupid, since they are obviously the only ones in that apartment. "You're kinda _something_ for asking that."

"I know. Anyway, I'm here to let you know I'm finally leaving."

It's a lame attempt to be casual.

"Okay. Wait a sec."

Seungcheol decides not to take a shower just yet so that he can _at least_ escort _him_ out, and when he steps out he is met by a somehow surprised Joshua.

"What?"

"I'm going to escort you out. You leaving now?"

"Yeah."

It's nothing special when _he_ leaves. Seungcheol just grabs _his_ luggage, holding it until they reached the "porch" downstairs.

_He_ does a double-check around the place and sees it was void of any witnesses.

"Thank you for assisting me and sorry about Hansol, again."

A nod and a small smile in response, body ready to leave.

The other avoids eye contact.

Alright.

Whatever. Okay, this is his last chance.

Okay.

Here goes nothing.

Seungcheol wraps his arms around Joshua's shoulders, then he kisses the back of _his_ head. He rubs one shoulder mindlessly, and gets surprised when Joshua holds one of his hands back. Tightly.

"I can't wait to hear you say 'I Do' in your wedding."

"Hm?"

"You'll get me as your wedding officiator, will you?"

"Do you want to?"

"I do."

He kisses Joshua's piercing-free ear once. "Then I do, too." Then he lets go, feeling Joshua's fingers momentarily clinging onto his own.

Joshua finally looks at him over _his_ shoulder with a grin. It was scary and adorable and just so... Joshua. The interaction ends there and Seungcheol comes back up.

The apartment is silent. He sees the modified bookshelf, Hansol's myth book, and he opens the document once again.

It has no ending.

Should it be ended, though?

He now remembers the reason why he began writing. Their time together may be over, but in his story, their time together will never end.  
  
  


**Epilogue**

_"So, you're leaving already?" Hades asked slowly. "You've been here for around a year or something."_

_"My mom is looking for me."_

_"I thought she knows you're here."_

_"She also knows you're here."_

_"Is that a problem?" Hades asked sadly. He doesn't know what is on Persephone's mind, so he cannot describe it._

_"Yes," they said annoyedly. "You're Hades, god of the Underworld; you're beneath me. You exist where I don't grow. You confine me in your soulful world, and even though I love you more than anything else, I should be up there, where I can grow bigger, where I'm more free, and where I am supposed to be committed to."_

_Logic crawled up in his head. "Can't you stay there and stay committed with me, too?"_

_"Do you think I wanted this?"_

_"No, but I think you have--actually--yes, partly. Your mother may control you, but you have the choice to be controlled."_

_He cannot describe Persephone's expression. It was far too difficult for him to comprehend._

_"She is my mother, and I am committed to her before I am to anyone else."_

_"Are you happy with that?"_

_When Persephone shrugged, Hades realized he was being selfish. He thought he was the good guy for prioritizing their happiness above all, but in reality, he's just like their mother -- pulling them towards him as if he knew what's best for them._

_"Okay. I'm sorry." Hades smiled at Persephone. "I wish you all the best. Being with you, even for the shortest time period, is the most alive I've felt in my existence."_

_Persephone stood up._

The end.


End file.
